Beards! Yes! Now you're talking my language. No one seems to appreciate a true beardo nowadays. Back in the day, Puppetboy and I would sit on the Mathrock and stare into windows just hoping to catch a glimpse of a beard.
I only prefer beards on clams. And I guess on a scuzy old pirate. Yes, a bearded pirate with disgusting broken teeth. I imagine he just captured Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari in drag from Bosom Buddies and he is preparing to have his way with them. Being at sea for so long he hasn't seen a real woman in quite some time and he finds them absolutely alluring. Although his first mate is not having an easy time with Wendy Jo Spencer.
Mom! Travis is frightened!
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